I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
