Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
