I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
