Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
