I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize