was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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