If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
