***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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