My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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