we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
