I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize