Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
