Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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