Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
