So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
