what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
