How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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