OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
