Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
