you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
