what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
