hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
