Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
