Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just threw up on my dentist
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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