i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
