It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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