I can text with my tongue
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
