i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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