yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
