wat bout pragnant strippers??
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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