Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
