last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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