no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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