3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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