absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
