ugly people sure do ruin things
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
