Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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