It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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