yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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