it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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