don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
