its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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