I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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