I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
