So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
