Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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