You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
