not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
FUCK WHALES
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
