his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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