so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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