Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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