And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
