from now on my penis is your penis
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Randomize
