$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
