matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize