You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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