The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
