Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
