The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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