What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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