i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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