I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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