Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
