My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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