i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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