what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
