my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
