I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
