I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
