Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
