Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
