She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
