my mouth tastes like poor choices
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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