weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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