I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
